Iron gut

I always had a cast iron gut. Eat a heavy meal right before bed, no problem. Pickles and licorice? Yum. Habanero sauce, plenty of it? Curry, be it rich northern style or even spicier but less rich southern style, bring it to me. Buffets with 300 different items, oh, yes. Kimchi by the bowlful? And coleslaw wrapped in a kale leaf, oh, yeah, bring on the raw veggies, a full plate of them, please.

But stress, I assume, has taken its toll. Now I’m burping all the time, and farting, and worse. Not even a shart, but just, “Oh, did something happen there? It feels wet.” WTF mucus? Diarrhea 10 or even more times a day. Google, google, well, this is called IBS, irritable bowel syndrome. Me, really?

So, the last time my former sweetheart came over here, about a month ago, we were looking at some stuff on his laptop, and I got up and a fart escaped. He got a foul look on his face. Whoops, sorry, I farted. He expressed his disgust, very different from how we used to laugh about how farts weren’t a big deal. He would often say something about in Japan, farting with someone means true love. Well, we aren’t in love and he got nasty.

“It is disgusting that you did that, when it is perfectly controllable.” Okay, well, I’m actually a lot older than him and I’m not shit-phobic like him. Like I do actually look in the toilet for health reasons, to see how it’s going. He craps once a week and would never look at it.

“Maybe in your culture it’s okay to just fart around other people.” Well, actually, in OUR culture, in the past, it was no big deal. I felt hurt by his harsh words, tones, and facial expressions, but the thought running through my mind was, “Just be glad it wasn’t a shart.” I didn’t tell him I know what those are from personal experience, though.  He doesn’t have any compassion for me, anyway, from what I can tell.

Today I chewed my food very carefully and lengthily, because I learned it can help with IBS type symptoms. I also made a point of sipping drinks more slowly – I’ve always been a gulper – so as not to swallow air. This is supposed to help with the dyspepsia. If you have a lot of burps, supposedly it’s most likely from swallowing air. I noticed after my three big cups of coffee this morning, about one litre, I felt very gassy and bloated. Will have to slow down with the coffee tomorrow, too! At least now I’m connected to my body, not like the first 50 years of my life.

Lately, I feel imprisoned in my body, but at least I’m aware of that, instead of just being numb. My life has been mostly oscillation between numbness and turmoil. I need more joy, peace, and satisfaction. At least today my guts functioned much better.

And a PS from yesterday, with all that sun my garden seeds finally came up. Planted them two weeks ago, and the radish and arugula are finally up in bunches. The other veggies should be straggling along any day now.

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