The week has begun with a whimper. I’m sick for the first time in a couple years. Congestion, sore throad, no energy. Had to cancel activities – and in a way I’m relieved. Most of the activities are effortful, unlike the bellydancing class, which I really regret missing. Social effort. Professional connecting effort. I don’t have a lot of confidence in unstructured situations as I’m very much an outlier, and I never feel like I fit in.
Logic I can do. Leading, I can do. Tech stuff, I can do. Social connecting on the fly – not so much.
I get the impression other people in my bellydance class feel a bit awkward with their bodies, even though they are all younger and slimmer than me. All have smaller feet and nicer waists. I just get that feeling.
For me, the dancing feels perfectly natural. For me, it is not a sexual dance. It is all about connecting with the music, and using the body to do that. It’s movement to rhythm. So I have nothing to be shy about: I have a good sense of rhythm, and if I screw up there’s no ego attached. I don’t have to be perfect. I’m not a professional. I’m not even putting on an amateur performance. I’m just foing this for me.
If you wanna see some amazing bellydancing, check out this, or this or this or anything else by Bagoas. And if you just want some awesome traditional drumming, check out this or anything else by Reda Darwish. These guys and their art have kept my spirits up many a day over the last three months or so. Dancing is a great escape into the music. I probably look like a complete idiot, and that doesn’t matter too much. Prevents me doing it as a social occasion, but luckily that’s not my first reason to do it. I’m a music-nut first and foremost. Music is one of the truly glorious things in life.