Feel good by doing the right thing.

That’s my insight for the day.

I’ve been keeping up with the biz podcasts. So many ridiculous businesses. Troll cakes – take some Internet troll insult, put it on a cake, and mail it to the troll? People spend money on that? What a waste of resources. Twenty-five bucks could have planted some trees or something. Made contraceptives available to people in third world countries.

Okay, people gotta have fun. I get that. But wooden bow ties? I’m not kidding. Fifty bucks for that, or a fancy wallet? Weird-ass shirts with a giant pocket over the entire front? Or even the endless POD t-shirt offers. Overpriced t-shirts, paying for a cute slogan. Art? Not really. Expressing yourself feels good, and that’s what such shirts are about. But ya know what? Expressing ourselves is a human characteristic that tends to be stifled generally. We don’t know how to handle honest speech. We don’t know how to listen. So, we purchase an approved form of communication, a safe form. Like stickers to ‘stick it to the man’ or magnet-messages for bad drivers. Amazing, fun, and so unnecessary. Like the essential oils blog full of woo advice, or the luxury tooth brushes – oh, sorry, “sustainable bamboo tooth brushes.” Right, sustainable. Or soy candles with essential oils “for the eco-conscious.” Just no.

That said, there are a lot of great businesses, too. And even the goofy ones provide meaningful lessons and how-to tips. Great podcast.

The difficulty is in seeing anything of value I could and would want to provide. I tend to be more frugal than frugal. And then I was thinking about what I really value. I really appreciate feeling good in my body. The massage school inexpensive therapeutic massage by gung-ho and talented students have been precious. I feel good. I want to feel good. That’s what people are often buying – something that feels good. The student I’m seeing this term is about to graduate. Graduate to a career where he’ll be greatly appreciated, no doubt. He’s talented. Wonderful non-pokey pressure, but he can also judiciously crush your fascial adhesions – a game changer for range of motion.

I wish I had that focus, talent, and ability to make people feel good. When you feel good, you don’t need a bunch of crap, to consume, buy, eat, indulge in. To use. I want people to feel good, but I also want to do good, do the right thing. I want people to feel good doing the right thing. Makes the right thing easier to do.




Profoundly sad

I just want to be heard and understood. Not told that someone understands, but shown, to know that someone understands. Like the difference between bad literature that tells you meanings and emotions and good literature that evokes them in you.

About 15 years ago I had a counsellor who recognized my emotion and named it. He said I was profoundly sad. That was the most validation and understanding I have ever had.

Most people can’t do that. They just try to lard it over with some attempt to look at the bright side. They hope I had fun or enjoyed myself. Well, no, I didn’t. I was profoundly sad. I struggled through the battlefield because I am courageous, but it wasn’t fun, for fuck’s sake.

When I get a chance to dwell on the sadness and let it out, sometimes I take pictures. The cellphone makes that easy, a way to take multiple images with low cost and no effort. I have a whole folder of them, me frowning and face twisted in sorrow. Tears, an expression of anguish, and the easy inference that loud cries occurred at that time. I was alone, with no one to care for me, just me.  My validation of my own emotions.

I like looking at those pictures sometimes. A break from the rest of the world where sadness is pretty much banned. I would love to post a bunch of these pictures, but I am not going to show my face.